Not so long ago you lived in peace and harmony and admired each other. But time passes, and the man of your dreams is changing beyond recognition: there are "stupid" habits, irritation, discontent with life and a host of other complaints. If this starts to happen in your life, you are most likely faced with a three-year crisis in family relationships.
The time frame of a three-year family crisis is quite wide: according to sociologists, from two to five years. Some couples find the strength to overcome this crisis, while others cannot cope with problems that have piled in, break up for a time or file for divorce.
Why is there a crisis in family relationships?
Wedding - a solemn and important moment. Relatives and friends wish you a happy long life and the ability to jointly overcome difficulties. You nod your head tiredly, thinking that your relationship will not be touched by the problem - because you really love a friend. But it takes 2-3 years, and you are horrified to realize that instead of a loving and understanding husband, an annoyed and tired man appears before you every day. Constant scandals, grievances and mutual recriminations alienate you from each other. The situation does not save even spontaneous sex. Why it happens?
- Spouses are just tired of each other. Romance and enthusiasm was left behind, the couple "took off their rose-colored glasses" and saw each other in a different light: with all the flaws, weirdness and personal attitude to life. When the “hormones of happiness” pass, the funny and inconsequential actions of the beloved begin to annoy and annoy, and the desire to “tune” him under him does not bring success.
- Extinction of sexual desire. Over time, the sexual life of the spouses becomes more fresh: for 3 years they have well studied their "habits" in bed. Lack of time, fatigue, lack of sexual experiments do not cause a desire to make love. There comes a crisis of sexual relations, which provokes scandals, quarrels and dissatisfaction with life.
- The appearance of the child. As a rule, the firstborn appears in a married couple after 2-3 years of living together. This happy event changes family life drastically. Sleepless nights, constant cries of the infant and perpetual sleep deprivation do not leave a woman's physical ability to bestow a spouse with affection, attention, and tenderness, as in “old times”. Caring for her husband fades into the background. Many men do not want to understand the reduction of attention from the woman he loves and her frequent reproaches. Spouses quarrel, swear from unwillingness to understand each other.
How to overcome the crisis in the relationship?
Everyone knows that family relationships require constant work. But for many, these are empty words and as soon as the crisis sets in, partners run to file for divorce. According to statistics, about 40% of Russian marriages break up in the third year of marriage. Many people believe that the very fact of living with your loved one "in the same plane" is a great gift for him (her) and do not want to put something into the relationship. To the question "How to overcome a three-year marriage crisis?", Psychologists confidently answer: "We need to work on relationships."
- The lady should not turn into a grumpy wife. You can not constantly blame her husband for his shortcomings and strange habits. Psychologists say: the real reason for dissatisfaction with a man is the psychological dissatisfaction of a woman. You may have problems in your sex life or the material sphere. You need to talk them out loud with your spouse, and then the serious problem will “move from its place”, and the constant discontent will go to the side.
- A woman should openly express her wishes.. As you know, a man does not understand female hints. Arguments about love and the meaning of life can drive him to a standstill. Tell him directly that it’s hard for you and he should help you: take out the garbage every night, cook dinner on the weekends and the like. Such rational wishes are better perceived by men than abstract requirements, accompanied by discontent.
- Relationships require updates. For any relationship requires romance. This applies to 3, 5, 10, 20 years of marriage. Among the domestic troubles and life problems need to find time for tenderness and romance. Arrange your husband a classic romantic dinner, and a grumpy lady with a bunch of complaints to turn into his beloved woman, whom he had long dreamed of.
- A child is not a reason for divorce. If the family crisis came after the birth of a child, you need to properly treat the situation. Remember that children will grow up quickly and "fly away from the parent nest." A woman who has managed to save her family will stay with her husband; if she chooses to devote herself exclusively to the child, she will most likely be left alone. It depends on the woman what life will be like after the birth of the child - irritated and tired or filled with mutual understanding and love. The spouse must understand that the husband also gets tired at work, and therefore at home he needs time for silence and solitude. Do not neglect the "services of grandmothers": if possible, leave your children with close relatives to get out with her husband to the cinema, theater and cafe. A child is not a reason to forget about yourself and your beloved man.
A three-year family crisis is a natural phenomenon. But so that he does not destroy the family hearth, spouses must learn to perceive their friend as they are, and not be afraid to discuss problems that arise.
Text: Svetlana Ahi
